Fetlife Review — What Do We Know About It?

Ashley Pfeiffer
Written by
Last update:

How Does Fetlife Work?

Registration — Is It Really Easy?

In order to join Fetlife, you must first register and create an account. It is possible to link your account to your email address so that you don’t have to fill out any information during registration and can easily access the site from your email.

Additionally, you are given the option to opt in for email alerts that notifies you when someone is looking to talk with you, have a private conversation with you on the site, or request to share a room with you.

Once you have created an account, you can browse and search for users. You are given the option to browse through the site by category (which are mutually exclusive), by location, or by user. For each individual user, you will be able to interact with them through private messages, link your accounts together, and see their profile information.

The site itself is very user-friendly, and is very similar to many other social networks and networking sites. Between the interactive community, the attractive design, and the ease of use, Fetlife is a great option for those who are looking to explore other kinky people on the internet.

What About Design and Usability?

Fetlife seems to be really well-designed. With the many fetishes that it caters to, Fetlife is able to create profiles from a variety of niches, fetishes, and identities.

The design is essential for the website to effectively serve as a social network for people with the same needs and tastes.

The design is a turn-on to many people who have sex lives that are heavily focused on BDSM and fetishism amongst other things.

Anonymity is excellent. Only the user’s email address and location are necessary personal information; the rest is not required and can be deleted after completing an account.

There are also many privacy options for users that want to keep some aspects of their sex lives private.

The site is also able to be used on a lot of devices and operating systems, which is great!

A major problem WordPress faces, is that their default theme is non-plugin based. This means that many people prefer the clean design and don’t care for technically advanced plugins.

For WordPress users that want to use theme based coding, there are many that can be used on Fetlife.

However, the best option is BulletProof Security by Zed. Although some people use the AJAX version, the CSS version is effective and you can customize it.

Security is also a top priority for the webmasters.

Let’s Talk About Profile Quality

It’s a well-known fact that fabulous looking profiles rule everything, and just look at the Fetlife Forum! So you want your profile to look great, but how?

You have this great artwork from a talented artist friend, but it’s now discolored and weak looking. You’ve gone to complete a full body shot of your partner, and say goodbye to her body art before you can find a good replacement.

Or that still image you took of your partner’s tattoos is great, but the focus is off and your partner is only half-interested in the shot.

The Mobile Application

Fetlife is a social network and sexual activity app for sexually healthy people.

It allows you to create a profile and list the activities and the people you're interested in.

You can search people by their interests, and the site also has a search function for your interests.

It features a security and safety that should always be your immediate concern when signing up for any kind of online profile.

Fetlife is connected to an extremely secure social network, which ensures that all the data you provide can only be accessed by you, and that your data stays encrypted at all times.

Once you give Fetlife a correct email, you can calculate your identity score which helps ensure the safety and security of your account. This helps to ensure that you aren't giving access to your account to hackers.

There is a Fetlife forum which you can use to talk with other members of the site, and Fetlife has blogs and forums where you can read more about the subject and use other resources.

After you link your Fetlife account to your mobile app, you can sign in on your mobile device and see the same content that you do on your computer.

The Fetlife Pimp, which offers all kinds of advice and help on how to set up your profile, how to build a nice online image, and how to find more like-minded people.

Safety & Security

Fetlife has the most unique security mechanism of any social application we have tested thus far. Upon logging in, you are prompted to answer a simple question: "Male/Female?" If you are a male, then your display name will start with "Man".

If you are a female, then your display name will start with "Woman". This level of simple and effective security means this is one application where your nickname can be as personal as you want.

We also love the way that verification works. Each user is given a six-digit code which they must enter in on log-in. These codes must consist of at least one digit from each of the following sets: 1-9, 0, & 4-9. User names and display names must consist of at least three letters, or spaces will be re-added to the end of names automatically.

All usernames and display names must also start with a letter. Search pages, discussion lists, and the profiles page are also protected by lock and verification, with simple and effective methods.

Fetlife has an active Safety & Security section that is monitored 24x7x365, and there is an immense amount of discourse and help available from people who actually use the app themselves.

Pricing and Benefits

Fetlife is billed as the best way for swinging couples and adventurous singles to connect offline, and online.

This popular social network is easy to use, secure, and great for exploring healthy open relationships with a unique member base. This app is ideal for those interested in finding swinging partners, casual encounters, discreet encounters, or open relationships.

Help & Support

Fetlife has a very active community on forums. You can join and feel free to post your questions and experiences – confidentially.


What is Fetlife and what do we know about it?

Fetlife is an online discussion board focused on Fetish and BDSM (Bondage, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism) and other alternative sexuality-related topics.

Fetlife has both free and paying plans, and is regarded as one of the largest online public forums for enthusiasts of alternative sexual lifestyles.

Is Fetlife Safe?

One of the leading dating websites in the United States of America, Fetlife has been around for more than a decade, and it is regarded as the largest BDSM and kink website on the web.

With almost 42 million members to date, Fetlife provides a platform for registered members to view and interact with each other for the sole purpose of exploring their sexuality.

The website hosts a powerful communication tool that allows users to share content, interact with other members, participate in forums, exchange private messages, and take part in real time discussions with other members.

Users may read, share, and post anything of an adult nature on the site except content related to sexual violence, pedophilia, and human trafficking.

The site also vets members to keep them away from the children and other vulnerable members.

How is Fetlife Safe?

The message boards are designed to include multiple safeguards that help keep minors away from sexually explicit content and all of the site’s requirements for age verification.

What’s more, the site has an adult filter with inclusion of a pop-up giving users an option to block content.

All members who are 18 years old and above can produce a valid state or federal ID card. Plus, the site has an opt-in safety feature that uses third party verification to make sure that two members are 18 years and older.

Is Fetlife a Real Dating Site?

Fetlife is used for many things. It can be a space to meet others who are interested in a wide range of fetishes, including BDSM, leather gear, and other creative sexual practices. It is a space to meet others who are on the same sexual wavelength as you, and use Fetlife as a gateway to discover new things outside of their own sexual preferences.

It can also be an anonymous hookup site. You can fill out a profile, and begin connecting with other members who may or may not be interested in sex. Or you may want to explore online relationships, which is okay too!

Whatever you want from Fetlife, you will find it, and you will find it with others who enjoy a similar lifestyle or enjoy different aspects of the lifestyle.

How to Use Fetlife?

Fetlife is a social networking platform which is almost similar to facebook. You can create your account at Fetlife and add your pictures to reveal.
Always make sure to keep your profile info as presentable as possible. This will help you to attract others and connect with them.
Sharing your experience about your friends on Fetlife can also help in increasing your friend count.
Sometimes it is not easy for you to find people of your interest on Fetlife, hence you can get help from websites which accept Fetlife friends.
Fetlife is totally not free, starting charge will be 4.99 dollars for a month.

Is Fetlife Free?

Fetlife is free except for permitted premium features, although you can create a free account to browse around in the event you want to see what it's all about.

There are many paid features you can choose to sign-up to, some of which are optional and some which are required (such as for plugins).

Does Fetlife Really Work?

Yes, it does. You can find so much more than you thought you'd find!

One of the biggest ways it works is a community, a social network, which the users can really contribute to. We've been to different fetlife meetup groups, and I can say that the thing that's different from other communities is that it's much more on the social scene. For example, people can meet and chat, you can go out to socialize around the world. In the BDSM community there are groups and groups of people who are opposing each other, and you never know what you are really going to get.


Although Fetlife is an adult social networking site, it is completely free. It is available for the most widely used operating systems and devices like Windows, Mac, Android and iOS.

Fetlife has two platforms, which are: the FetLife community, which is the free-form social networking platform that allows for the creation of a private profile, posting of photos, and interacting with other users; and the FetLife website, which is the free website with the same features of the FetLife community platform.

This network is very well organized and offers a range of tools and options for its users.

Next, it can be safely said that the site is user-friendly and provides an easy way for users to create individual profiles.

There are only two stages of sign-up: first, the user provides his nickname and the server confirms and sends the e-mail address the username has. Second, he has to activate the email address he has received, which the system will do by marking it as verified.

Using the tool!

If a user has a FetLife account, he can use tools such as the photo upload functions, photo tag generator, the favourites list, sharing to other social networks, the search function, and others; plus the site offers forums for users to connect and discuss issues such as sex, kink, gender and other issues.

Pros and Cons

Fetlife is a social platform aiming to provide a safe and convenient space for people to connect for sex and kink related activities. As a website, it works like any other one — you create an account, select a username, and then add a profile, upload a photo, and customize your contact information. There is an option to include a bio, relationship status, interests, and some personal information. This includes your full name, street address, e-mail, and cell number.

After you add your profile to Fetlife, you can search through profiles and see what other people are sharing. Members can make Notes on a person’s profile, which you can read by clicking on their Note.

You can choose to join groups, communities, and discussions. Kink-related groups include BDSM groups, swingers groups, kinky discussion groups, LGBTQ groups, and fetish groups. You can also add your own group if you have a special interest.

You can choose whether to use your real name or any alias. If you choose an alias, it doesn’t show up on any of your profile pictures or your profile description, and it’s also not saved with your username. You will see your real name on the forums you join and the search function, though.

Which dating site is right for you?

Many sites offer free memberships and are much more than a dating site. So each site must be evaluated on its own merits. If it’s your first time joining a site, I suggest you try a few. Learn where it works well for you and then work within the site to make it do what you want it to.

Ember's History with Fetlife and Full Disclosure

Ember's profile ID: safefood

I joined Fetlife in 2012 and created my profile in November.

In 2014, I was removed from Fetlife after a false accusation of sexual harassment of a male member. My profile was suspended for 6 months until I was able to prove that I had not done anything wrong. Everything I have learned while I was suspended (and I learned a lot!) has allowed me to be more effective on Fetlife now than I was before. I even created a support group.

I’m no longer judgemental, and I don’t come in expecting to , say, make everyone happy. I realized that there are things I could learn, have changed for the better, and am finally living happier than I have been in years.

All fetish sites have their own rules, and some require you to be a member to submit new material. But there are different websites that give you the option of submitting your own images, videos and stories.

Here are 3 websites you can use to submit fetish material to.

{1}. One of the better known online fetish magazines is titled "The Best of Mad Lust!" It is well known for all the published works of "Jeff the Killer". It although mainly offers fetish cartoons but as there is not database for comics and one can share the normal size images as well.
{2}. The Unreal Network serves for an online pornography with, unsurprisingly, non-real porn. It has a nice looking layout with a gallery that allows you to browse through the pictures, download them or add to favorites. However, the FAQ reveals that the site is not exclusively online porn. You will find mostly celebrities and models with their bodies enhanced with special software.
{3}. You can also try to create your ownfetish site.

The most popular pages on a website are often the ones that are viewed the most, as they generate the most traffic. Not only is the most viewed page a good way to discover what is popular with users, but it may also contain valuable information about what is being searched for.

As we know, thousands of visitors can potentially generate millions of views, which can only indicate the popularity of a page.